Abba, my Father

I have been a Messianic believer in Messiah Yeshua for, oh probably about 8 years now. When I first came into the faith, I was excited! I was getting in touch with my Hebrew roots and learning things I never knew. Even for a 13\14 year old, I knew what I was hearing was finally the RIGHT thing.

Then, as I went off to college, things started to change. I still believed with all my heart, but I began to lose that zeal for Adonai and his Word. It saddened me but for some reason that still didn't motivate me much to do something about it. My first Sukkot with B'nai Shalom Messianic Congregation down in Oklahoma sparked some interest, but for some reason it was squelched. 

But a great thing happened. I approached my Father as the King He is in my prayers after learning about the Amidah from Rico Cortez. After my breakup I asked Him that if I were to have someone, it would have to be someone of His choosing - someone who had an idea of what I believed and knew that I was not insane. My Abba knows me well and knew that I needed someone to push me back to Him. Because I approached him withe respect and reverence, my Abba gave me what I needed.

Now, three weeks or so after I have come back from my second Sukkot, I find that the zeal I felt in the camp of righteousness isn't gone. I'm still hungry for His Word and that delights me and my soul. I may not listen to a teaching a day, but I still listen more than ever. I desire to know my Father's Word and to hear His voice. I want to know him intimately. I am feeling complete and whole again. Its a marvelous feeling! 

I had my Mikvah while at Sukkot where I publicly announced my faith before my teachers, the congregation, and more importantly, my Messiah. I still get butterflies thinking about it. I am glad that my first submerging was my Mikvah (I have never been baptized). I felt the Living Waters rush all over me as I fell face first into them, cleansing me and instilling the thirst for Him into my body. And I am still thirsting for him! I delight in his Word when I learn something new (and since He is the Living Word, there is always something new to learn!) 

My Abba, I delight in Your Torah! I will forever trust in You and praise Your holy name! For you are Holy in all the earth! Your voice comforts me and teaches me. You are my Abba, and I love You!